She was an older woman, in her late 40s, but still quite attractive, in a viking way. In the hot summer, she had been wearing short white sundresses, and I had been spending the last few days trying to be gentlemanly and not to look at her cleavage. But this morning, I found myself very hard, and my hand found its way to , my penis, and I started stroking, imagining her yesterday, when I had seen her at night in her dressing gown, her nipples poking up against the fabric. I had meant to just give myself a few idle strokes, but as hard as I was, my hand just moved of its own will, and being 20 and deprived, it only took me a minute or two to shudder and come, a heavy load spurting out all over the blankets. Which turned me back to reality... I would leave today, and then she would find what I had done to her blankets. I knew I should do something about it, but in my post-orgasmic daze I was too satiated to move. I also didn't think, being so young and horny, that my rustling of the. Then there’s the bigger things, what if I had a different job, followed my heart. Would I be where I am today? Would life have been better or worse? Questions, questions, and more questions, but never any real answers. There’s no answers because all the results are based on ‘What if’s’ and what might have been instead of what is real. There I go rambling on again. All I know is, I have some decisions to make. I have cancer and am lying in a bed. The hospital is waiting for my decisions. I guess I should start at the other end of my life. Or this will be an awfully short story. I was born and raised in a good home, actually a very good home. I have one sibling, a sister who now lives somewhere out west. In high school I was part of the geek set. I was proud of it and still am. I was always able to handle myself and had very few fights. I was named ‘Most likely to succeed’ and had a number of friends who were also of the geek set. I had a lot of jock friends but wasn’t really good.
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